Damn vampires!

Damn vampires.

Oh sorry, I should be more specific. Damn Sparkling vampires.

I would be the first one to tell you that I had been against the Twilight series, I never heard over three years ago, and yet I saw all these books linked to one another. I was told by other vampire readers to give it a chance and have a look over at least one story.

I gave in and bought Twilight.

It took me months to read, and I have a hard time getting into the story. It was slow, very slow. Like someone held my hand to walk me through the aspect of the plot line. But what bothered me was how everyone couldn’t get enough of the series. (I had enough after the first book) not to mention I work at a movie theatre part time. I’ve seen the fandom up close and personal. It ain’t pretty.

Yet, for the whole reason I despise the series I believe comes down to a few things; jealously, and resentment that’s just to name only a select few.

Why have I come to this conclusion you ask? Let me explain.

Throughout all of high school, I wrote, I did fan fiction as explained in my last blog. I wrote about WWE superstars, and I had my fair share of people who enjoyed to mock me, and announced how awful my writing was. Many had found the sites I posted on and would make fun of me the next day with the story they glanced over. I even had the courage to read aloud in my tenth grade English class one of my stories as part of an assignment. Ridicule followed, yet praise from my English teacher was enough to get me through. (I even had some people accuse me that I didn’t even write it! Backhanded compliments huh?)

So let me get to the point. I know what it’s like to have people mock your work, crush your creativity and make you feel like you can’t write anything worthwhile. This is where my jealousy comes in.

She gets her work published, just as I had been working on my vampire series for well over six years. I started just before graduating high school, and had been hard at work for many years. Recently I have tried to submit my novel to various publishers, only to learn at a Horror Convention that the publishers have been overwhelmed with vampire novels, since many began to write their own after reading Twilight.

Bitter? You bet I am!

I feel like my chances of getting my book out there have been cut drastically. Everyone who is anyone has decided to come up with their own “Twilight” book, some do it out of passion for what they read, other, resentment. For they believed they could write a better book.

I just can’t help but feel jaded towards the series, I don’t like them, but I respect the fact that Stephenie Meyer got her work out there, she got it published and I have no doubt she is living quite comfortably right now.

But, I am still angry over the fact that since Twilight, vampires have lost their bite, their fangs and apparently weakness to sunlight.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I mocked her work, yet I find myself becoming one of those boys back in high school who did the same thing to me. I am mocking a person’s creativity. I am insulting their ideas…

I became a complete and utter jerk!

Is it truly wrong for me to be angry? Is it not human to be jealous?

There’s a feeling I have been enduring for a while, as well as what I learned from the secret. The more you harbor ill will and feelings, the more those feeling will attract others like it to you. I cannot have that. I cannot keep those inside of me.

If I do, how else will I get published?

(Deep cleansing breath)

I don’t know about you, but I seriously need to rethink my priorities. If not… how will anything get done?

Stay Thirsty